Beauty in the Struggle: Hope

It has been a few days since we received the news about our sweet baby. There has been lots of crying, sleepless nights, some very serious conversations, lots of prayers, ice cream, more tests, smiles, laughs, lots of friends, oreos, and more doctors appointments. Let's just say we have been quite busy the past few days!

Friday morning we met with a genetic counselor, who was able to better explain chromosome abnormalities. She was very helpful and was very confident that our baby did not have trisomy 13 or trisomy 18 based on numbers from a previous test. Praise God! This was comforting because I know Sam and I both had feared this may be the case. We decided to undergo an amniocentesis in order to get a definite answer of what we were dealing with. The amnio went very smoothly and there were no complications. I am extremely grateful for a husband who sat by my side and held my hand the entire time and didn't pass out : ) We will receive the results of this test by phone on either Monday or Tuesday. Regardless of what the diagnosis is, we believe that God created this sweet baby in His image and that this baby is made perfect in His eyes. What a blessing this little baby has already been to us, he or she has already taught us how precious life is!

Our biggest prayer right now is that baby would continue to fight and grow. There are some real concerns with the umbilical cord and blood flow, meaning this could cause growth problems with the baby. We are praying that baby can continue to grow and develop! I know this sweet little baby is already a fighter.

Ideally, we would like to go back to the east coast and have the baby there, where our primary support system is. We have so many friends and family there that would step in and help us in a heartbeat. From what we are hearing of the insurance side of things, it sounds very promising. The real concern is timing and when would be the best time for us to travel home. And obviously there are A LOT of logistics that would need figured out fairly quickly in the upcoming months. We aren't jumping the gun just yet, we need to get some more confirmation from the doctor that baby is growing as he or she needs to be so that we can make the long trip home. We feel confident in our doctors here in Hawaii, but at the end of the day this is a very small island. Our access to doctors is extremely limited and there is a rather large ocean separating us from the mainland. Praying God would work out all the kinks and details!

In the mean time, we are trying to live life as we normally do. Yes, we have our moments of tears, but we have this 15 month old little boy who keeps us going and brings us so much joy. Goodness, so much joy I cannot even explain it. There has been so many times this past week where I have just sat back and watched Micah play with tears in my eyes. I am so thankful for this blue eyed boy and so grateful that I get to be his mommy. He has no idea what is going on and reminds us what it means to just celebrate and love life.

We so bad want to be normal people. We want to hang out with our friends, laugh, and smile. And we have done just that this week. I don't want people to look at us and feel sorry for us or feel weird around us. We want you to be a friend to us and stand along beside us in this battle. We have received so many phone calls, text messages, and Facebook comments this week that it has been totally overwhelming. I have read each and every one of them several times and each one has brought tears to my eyes. We are so thankful for each and every one of you and appreciate all of your prayers and support. You all have kept us going and reminded us that we are not alone and that we can keep on keeping on. Thank you for that.