Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My heart is breaking

After a sleepless night, we made our way to our appointment to check my fluid levels.  It seems that with these babies things start changing pretty quickly towards the end, so I was hoping for the best, but also well aware that we may get bad news today.  And so we did.  Last week my fluid levels were at 7, today they had dropped down to 5.

We spent some time with the doctor discussing our options, none of which are ideal.  We have decided to return to the doctor again on Friday to check my fluid levels.  If they have remained the same, the induction will be scheduled for Monday.  If the levels have gone down even more by Friday, then the induction will most likely be sooner.  There is always a chance the fluid levels could increase, but the doctor prepared us that that may not happen since they have continued to go down this past week.

All in all I would say I am pretty crushed.  I knew the day of meeting Asher was coming, but I am not ready.  And this is not how I envisioned everything playing out.  A typical baby without a chromosome abnormality born at 36 weeks would most likely be fine.  However, due to the special circumstances, being born this early is not ideal for our sweet Asher, he is going to have a hard time.  Given that the induction may take a while because I am still only 36 weeks could also be too much for Asher to handle.  All of this is breaking my heart.  I want to meet our little boy, I want to get a chance to hold him and love him while he is still alive.  Please continue to cover our family in prayer, we need it in the upcoming days and weeks.  I know that God is in the midst of this and He is preparing the way for us.  But even still, we are scared and unsure of what tomorrow will bring.

We have spent most of the morning and afternoon today making phone calls and scrambling around trying to get details squared away.  Our families are in the process of changing plane tickets and rental cars.  I am trying to prepare myself in whatever way I can and get as many logistics worked out as possible.  We're thankful for friends who have already said they would help in any way that they can, especially with our sweet, wild, Micah.

We are thankful for each and every one of you and so appreciate your faithfulness and commitment to praying for us on this journey.  I will update as we know more in the coming days.

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